How to enjoy your new PogoStick…

ALWAYS use a helmet.
ALWAYS adhere to the weight range guidelines given for your Pogo Stick!
DO NOT use your Pogo Stick without its rubber tip!
ALWAYS keep your Pogo Stick clean and free from dirt and grit!
ALWAYS use your Pogo Stick on a hard surface… DO NOT use it on grass, or on soft or sandy surfaces.
HAVE AN ADULT check your Pogo before first use and on a regular basis.
MAKE SURE all your friends are instructed on the proper way to use your Pogo.
NEVER use your Pogo with bare feet, always wear shoes.

…and the most important part….gotta love it..lmao

Hold your Pogo Stick in a vertical position. Develop your balance by pulling your Pogo Stick up with you.
Using your Pogo Stick in this manner will result in a longer lasting rubber tip

How to enjoy your new PogoStick…

ALWAYS use a helmet.
ALWAYS adhere to the weight range guidelines given for your Pogo Stick!
DO NOT use your Pogo Stick without its rubber tip!
ALWAYS keep your Pogo Stick clean and free from dirt and grit!
ALWAYS use your Pogo Stick on a hard surface… DO NOT use it on grass, or on soft or sandy surfaces.
HAVE AN ADULT check your Pogo before first use and on a regular basis.
MAKE SURE all your friends are instructed on the proper way to use your Pogo.
NEVER use your Pogo with bare feet, always wear shoes.

…and the most important part….gotta love it..lmao

Hold your Pogo Stick in a vertical position. Develop your balance by pulling your Pogo Stick up with you.
Using your Pogo Stick in this manner will result in a longer lasting rubber tip

Comcast Customer Support?

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening! Customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and MBNA bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance that had been around $30.00, now is somewhere around $360.00!!

Here’s the transcript of the conversation between a family member that called the MBNA Bank to let them know what was going on…

Family Member:
‘I am calling to tell you that she died in January.’

MBNA:
‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member:
‘Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.’

MBNA:
‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been.’

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’

MBNA:
‘Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!’

Family Member:
‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’

MBNA:
‘Excuse me?’

Family Member:
‘Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being dead?’

MBNA:
‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member:
‘I’m calling to tell you, she died in January.’

MBNA:
‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member:
‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’

MBNA:
(Stammer) ‘Are you her lawyer?’

Family Member:
‘No, I’m her great nephew.’  (Lawyer info given)

MBNA:
‘Could you fax us a certificate of death?’

Family Member:
‘Sure.’  ( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

MBNA:
‘Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’

Family Member:
‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.’

MBNA:
‘Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.’

Family Member:
‘Would you like her new billing address?’

MBNA:
‘That might help.’

Family Member:
‘ Glasnevin Cemetry, Finglas Road , Dublin 11, Ireland , Plot Number 1049.’

MBNA:
‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’

Family Member:
‘Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?’

How well would you score?

A first-grade teacher, Mrs. Robin Graber, was having trouble with one of her students. The eacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem?’ Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’  Mrs. Graber had had enough. She took Harry to  the principal’s office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher  explained to the principal what the situation was.  The  principal told Mrs. Graber he would give  the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his  questions he was to go back to the 1st grade  and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he  agreed to take the test.

Principal: ‘What is 3 x 3?’
Harry: ‘9.’

Principal: ‘What is 6 x 6?’
Harry: ‘36.’

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Mrs Graber and tells her, ‘I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.’

Mrs. Graber says to the principal, ‘Let me ask  him some questions.’

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Mrs. Graber asks, ‘What does a cow have four  of that I have only two of?’
Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’

Mrs. Graber: ‘What is in your pants that you  have but I do not have?’
The principal wondered why would she ask  such a question!

Harry replied: ‘Pockets.’

Mrs. Graber: ‘What does a dog do that a man steps into?’
Harry: ‘Pants.’

Mrs. Graber: What starts with a C, ends with a T,  is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish  liquid?’
Harry: ‘Coconut.’

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Mrs. Graber: ‘What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?’
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and Before he could stop the answer, Harry replied,
‘Bubble gum.’

Mrs. Graber: ‘What does a man do standing up, A woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?’
Harry: ‘Shake hands.’

The principal was trembling.

Mrs. Graber: ‘What word starts with an ‘F’ and Ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?’
Harry: ‘Firetruck.’

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told Mrs. Graber, ‘Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong…… ‘

New Contest!!!

In 1984 the Eldorado Daily Journal, based in Illinois, announced a contest to see who could save the most daylight for daylight savings time. The rules of the contest were simple: beginning with the first day of daylight savings time, contestants would be required to save daylight. Whoever succeeded in saving the most daylight would win. Only pure daylight would be allowed—no dawn or twilight light, though light from cloudy days would be allowed. Moonlight was strictly forbidden. Light could be stored in any container. The contest received a huge, nationwide response. The paper’s editor was interviewed by correspondents from CBS and NBC and was featured in papers throughout the country.

1943 Guide to Hiring Women

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclines to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

 

[Via YesButNoButYes]

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Holy crap.. it’s hard to believe people THOUGHT like this…