Remember in the movie Airplane! The scene where the lady gets hysterical and the flight crew and passengers get in line to slap some sense into her? (If not its here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irNKHSbKqL8 )

I feel like doing this to everyone that starts on this “WERE GOING TO DIE!* (*this time in 2021.)”

We were going to die in 2000. The Y2K bug was going to make airplanes fall from the sky, and trains derail by themselves and cars were going to start driving themselves. It was like that in 1900 and 1800. WTF, really people! Are we as a race STILL that childlike to believe in this non-sense?

You are going to believe a calendar from a race that couldn’t make it themselves? Nostradamus, The profit no one can decipher? Some sect of christens (and its offshoots) that believe God is coming to destroy all the non-believers?!

I think it’s more likely for the tooth fairy to rise up and go postal on the soda industry.

What is the fascination with killing off the human race? They really don’t like it here so much that they would rather kill themselves and everyone on Earth?! What the hell is wrong with them?

If you really believe that the worlds is going to hell in a hand basket then DO something about it. Get your lazy ass off Facebook and become a super hero and stop crime and understand that different people have different ideas and respect that. Doesn’t mean you must agree with it, just respect it.

I want a nice SAFE place for my little boy to grow up.
Keywords: “GROW” and “UP“.

So what do you think about the whole UFO thing? Aliens? Government testing new aircraft? Do you think the government is withholding information from us?

I think the real issue is that we are not asking the right questions.

It’s not about IF there are UFO’s are real. It’s not about what the government is doing out in Area 51. It’s not even about if the government is withholding information from her people.

The real questions are WHY are people so skeptical about it? And WHY isn’t the government willing to look into it?

Why are people so skeptical about UFOs? I honestly don’t know. There’s enough evidence out there (even if it’s only like 10% of all the cases) that shows there is something abnormal happening from time to time in and over our land. It doesn’t mean that UFO=Alien. All it means is that there is something unknown flying in the sky. I really do not understand why people would be skeptical about the possibly of it and choose to reticule people that have seen something unknown in the sky.

As for the government/military… This I really don’t get. The last major government study ended quite a few years ago wouldn’t it be better to open another ‘Project Bluebook’ and study the reports again with the much better technology we have now? Reports didn’t go away after Bluebook was closed to the point that a international civilian network (MUFON) was created to help people. Isn’t that what our government is for; to help and protect its people?

If a UFO can get into our airspace isn’t that something the government should be protecting us from? At the very least be explaining what’s going on or trying to find out. So it doesn’t matter if you believe in UFO’s or not. Point is something unexplained has invaded our airspace and the government is doing nothing and that is something you should be worried about.

Ranks up there in the ‘cool’ meter.

… And we all know who gave it to him.

O.o

So why is prostituion illegal? Really, Why? it’s been around for .. well since the beginning of time. What makes our thinking and morals say that it’s ‘wrong’ and therefor should be illegal. But if it was taxed ed and regulated so it’s safer for both the client and the Fuddie. it would make the state money to allow SO many more things to happen, most likly lower sex crimes. So why not? anyone have any thoughts?

hmm.. Wolverine nuggets

Anyone else see an issue with this kids toy?

This is supposed to be a true exchange of dialog between a customer and a sales person…
I don’t REALLY know it’s true.. but it’s funny none the less.

===============================================================
(A woman who had gone through my line earlier that day came up to me.)

Customer: “Give me back my g****** keys!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My car keys! Give them back!”

Me: “I wasn’t aware that I had them. Ma’am, are your keys lost? I can get someone to help you find them if you want.”

Customer: “No! I know it was you who took them! I put them up on this little tray– *points to the tray next to the debit machine* “–and when I got home I couldn’t find them anywhere!”

Me: “When…when you got home? Ma’am, did you drive home?”

Customer: “Well, duh! What kind of idiot are you? Do you think I’m poor?” *gives a disgusted look*

Me: “No…how did you get back here, ma’am?”

Customer: “I drove here, of course!”

Me: “With your car keys?”

Customer: “Yes! Now give them back!”

Me: “Ma’am…if I had taken your car keys, would you have been able to drive home and back here?”

Customer: “No! But I know you took them!”

(I then notice the keys shining in her hand.)

Me:: “Open your hand please, ma’am?”

Customer: *upon seeing her keys in her hand* “Oh, you little witch! What did you do, ‘magic’ them back into my hand?! What kind of store lets witches work for them?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not a witch…but you are a complete stereotypical blonde.”

Customer: “Oh, how dare you! I demand to speak to your manager.”

(My manager, who is a Wiccan and has been listening to this exchange for the past few minutes, comes up behind me, playing with her five-pointed star necklace.)

Manager: *in a mystical voice* “Well, hello there, earth-walker. What can I do for you?”

Customer: *sputters curse words and quickly storms out*

But you just can’t make this crap up!!!
=================================================
Customer: “Give me back my g****** keys!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My car keys! Give them back!”

Me: “I wasn’t aware that I had them. Ma’am, are your keys lost? I can get someone to help you find them if you want.”

Customer: “No! I know it was you who took them! I put them up on this little tray– *points to the tray next to the debit machine* “–and when I got home I couldn’t find them anywhere!”

Me: “When…when you got home? Ma’am, did you drive home?”

Customer: “Well, duh! What kind of idiot are you? Do you think I’m poor?” *gives a disgusted look*

Me: “No…how did you get back here, ma’am?”

Customer: “I drove here, of course!”

Me: “With your car keys?”

Customer: “Yes! Now give them back!”

Me: “Ma’am…if I had taken your car keys, would you have been able to drive home and back here?”

Customer: “No! But I know you took them!”

(I then notice the keys shining in her hand.)

Me:: “Open your hand please, ma’am?”

Customer: *upon seeing her keys in her hand* “Oh, you little witch! What did you do, ‘magic’ them back into my hand?! What kind of store lets witches work for them?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not a witch…but you are a complete stereotypical blonde.”

Customer: “Oh, how dare you! I demand to speak to your manager.”

(My manager, who is a Wiccan and has been listening to this exchange for the past few minutes, comes up behind me, playing with her five-pointed star necklace.)

Manager: *in a mystical voice* “Well, hello there, earth-walker. What can I do for you?”

Customer: *sputters curse words and quickly storms out*

*  Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.
*  Are your parents retarded?   Because you sure are special.
*  My Love for you is like diarrhea.   I can’t hold it in.
*  Do you have a library card?   Because I’d like to sign you out
*  Is there a mirror in your pants?    Because I can see myself in them.
*  If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel,  I’d store my nuts in your hole.
*  You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away..
*  I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.
*  Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
*  If your going to regret this in the morning,  we kin sleep until afternoon.
*  Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up

Feel free to post some more!!