- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… But it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?
- Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They’re going to see you naked anyway.
- Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?