Bentonville, AR — Walmart today announced plans to install mini surface-to-air missile batteries on the rooftops of all 4,786 store locations across the United States. The missiles will exclusively target Amazon Prime Air drones. The new concept called Walmart Megatron is the latest effort to drive customers back to retail locations. While Walmart’s growth has remained steady, it has been unable to keep pace with online retailers such as Amazon.
“Customers are consistently choosing convenience over traditional in person retail shopping,” John Simmons, head of Walmart’s Megatron division tells us. “We face a problem in the coming years. Either we do what we can to increase convenience, something the retail division has failed to do, or we start declaring war on online retailers. Personally I am ready to blow up some drones.”